The world today is nothing like it was when i was a kid you could live life with out fear . Not today u fear everything how you are going to pay the bills put food on the table most of all if you and your family are safe . It is December 14 and this past 2 weeks have been so bad on the news kid are dieing and ppl are killing ppl what kids of world is this that we are in . Last week 2 kids for my kids school died in a car crash by another kids driving drunk and crazy . the a guy shot his step son 3 times like really u are that kids dad he will never trust again , then today i turn on the tv and 20 kids an teachers where shot dead by a crazy 24 year old that went to there school . them poor baby's all of them did not get to live life and there parents and can not know what they are feeling . i just pray this world gets better for my kids and everyone out there .

 This is my lil brother billy he is 2 years younger then me he passed away 10 years ago on June 18th in a car crash .Me and billy where close growing up he was a smart kid and was full of life . He could make anyone laugh he was a silly boy he loved acting like the rock form wwe . But again that came to a end on June 16th when he was with my sister in a car crash he passed away the 18th and we laid him to rest on the 25th that was the worst thing that has ever happen to me . I never felt so much pain in my life i was lost i did not know how to deal with it all i could do was cry . But i had to hold it the best i can for my family and my kids . Let me tell you a lil more about billy and his life that he had he was a hard worker he worked with my dad that had his own pizza place . Billy did not finish school but he should have he was smart but things happen . Any way he loved wwe and sports and like all boys video games he would get so mad at the game when he played with my brothers hahaha . He had a good  Hart he loved all his niece and nephew his brothers and sister we where all close . But when it came to my mom and dad i dont think he card for them as much dont get me wrong every kids loves there parents but mine where so wrong in so many ways to him . My dad was just plane out mean to all of us but when it came to billy he act as if he was his slave for the shop if he did not want to work billy would get hit and called names and i hate that my dad would hit billy a lot he hit all of us a lot  . And as for my mom i think she was the worst to him she would call him a murderer how can u call your own blood that . See years back we had a 2 year old brother that past and she blamed billy his whole life for it she would tell him he killed jimmy and we all know thats not true at all if any one killed him it was them for not being good parents and teaching the kids not to touch the stove nope she feed us on the door .

 So at 4 years old u dont know any better after being feed on it so billy step on the door when she was cooking and jimmy got burned and passed away after having lots of surgery's and one bad blood transfusion . After that billy was dead to her and for that i will always have a bad spot in my hart for them two they where both just not right to him and that is not away to remember the way u where to your son before he passed . But no matter how hard of a life they gave him he was still a good kid and was full of life when he was aloud to have one. I just wish i could have seen him the day of the crash so i could tell him how much i love him . And how i wish i could have stopped all his pain he has growing up . But is to late i will tell him when i see him again and i will see him again .

 This here is a pic of his head stone as u can see he has sports and fishing on it . He loved to fish he would fish before work a lot i think it gave him i Peace of mind . God i miss him but he is always with us every where we go .Its hard for me to go see him like that i do when i can but i do talk to him a lot . i know he is with me so all i do is talk and he hears me .

 This is him at 4 years old what a ham this is when she start telling him he killed jimmy i dont know how billy was so strong dealing with all that he dealt with but he was he was a strong young man .

He was 5 here on a bick with my brother paul .

My family is my everything i was 18 when i had kaylene  i was a baby myself i was to young to have a kid and it was hard . I had a hard time in life at first being a young mom but it worked out i did what i had to do for her and me  . Then i had jay i was 21 when i had him i was still not ready to have another kid i was staying with my dad and i had a lot going on in my life at that time it was a bad part in my life but again i did what i had to for my kids . Then at 23 i had christian and at this time in my life i was with the best man in the world he came to me and my 2 kids and opened his arms for us . Paul is one of a kind not many  men do what he did kay was 4 and jay was 6 months when Paul came to us and he picked up the roll as a dad to them and that makes him a man a good man . And with my kids Paul had his own Krista she was 6 she is with her mom Paul got her when he can it was hard for her at first to have me in her dads life with other kids . But again things worked out for the best here we are in this pic 9 years later me and Paul are married and are kids r the best kids a mom and dad can have Krista is 15 now there on the left by her dad . Jay is 10 on the right of Krista looking like a lil man . Then christian in the middle of me and Paul he is 8 years old now that is are baby boy he made are family whole . And last kaylene right above me she 13 now and my god she is getting to be a lil women . So this is my family that keeps me going everyday i would not ask for it any other way the best kids and the best hubby in the world . And like all families we have r ups and downs but that only makes us stronger .